Growing up, I had no choice but to keep the most important thing about me a secret – from everyone. All they saw was a normal boy who was a good trumpet player and involved in the church. My family thought I was just a homebody, but, really, I didn’t think I could hang out with the other teenagers without letting my secret slip. Every night, I prayed that God would transform me into a girl and I could finally start living.
None of my family knows just how close I actually came to actually killing myself. I felt an irreconcilable split of being a Christian and being transgender. I had the tree picked out and knew exactly where I was going to end it all.
If being transgender was something you could “fix,” something you could pray away, something you could tell yourself that you just have to live with, then I would have done so long ago.There are people who think something must have happened early in life, some kind of mistreatment to twist an innocent little mind into thinking they are not what their body says they are. They think since God doesn’t make mistakes that I couldn’t possibly have been born this way.
Well, God doesn’t make mistakes, and even as a very young boy, I knew I was a girl.
It was my faith that brought me from the very brink of self-destruction to a life of inspiration and hope for others—to share my journey with you—all of it. I am transgender. I am Christian. I am conservative. This is my story and my call to compassion.
I wish to offer hope to Christians who are transgender, you can find a home among other Christians. Likewise, I offer a call to compassion to Christians because we have brothers and sisters who desire to be with our Christian family. Let’s bring them home and love them unconditionally.